Yesterday I was planning to post for 4/25 until stuff kinda went to poo. I woke up to a room change from staff only to find out later we didn't need to move and at that point I wasn't re-moving... Then we went to see my beautiful girl later than usual. I was told she was doing well and after a couple steroid doses he could plan on extubation (breathing tube removal) by the pm. I could and would not be present for that- I can handle most stuff but extubation? Nope. At 4:30 she was extubated- we didn't get to see her for another hour related to an OR case. (Yey for another fixed baby!) I wasn't real happy with that because I am scared of extubation and that right lung- I realize it looks better but the fragility of it all (uncertainty and unknown change is NOT easy for me) puts me on edge. Forward to 11:30 pm (yes, I am the nurse who is a pain for a patient and now it is my child its like walking on a wire) and Amelya is doing very well off the ventilator and on forced humidified air... She looks good but now we have more post op hurdles which looks like another week (minimally) of care in the pcicu (which is fine) but I hope she meets them! My little fighter. I need to take some notes, I want to bond so badly and hold her but her war wound looks so painful that I actually turned down giving her a bath. I feel horrible. I also think I overstimulated her yesterday when she got hiccups after I went on a touching rampage. I wish I could do the right thing, it is just this is not my area and I'm fustrated as a Mommy and a nurse- it is just that I love her so much. I love her, my husband and the way things are looking, I need to go back to good ol trusting and having faith but it is hard!
On another note, some friends of ours (mutual powerlifters Ambre Tarpley and her Mom (ok, mom doesn't powerlift) and Laura Phelps Sweatt) sent 2 outfits for Miss Priss and some antibacterial goodies (yes, I'm that mom that will make you wash your hands and you cannot of smoked or presently be smoking around her. Thank you all! Made a fustrating day better. :)
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